Plummeting

Gravity.  It is a natural phenomenon by which physical bodies attract each other with a force proportional to their masses.  Now that's common knowledge.  Perhaps very common: I read it on Wikipedia.  It also tells me that modern work on gravity began with Galileo in the late 16th and early 17th centuries, so it's not exactly a new concept.

I could bang on about how the Earth (and every planetary body for that matter) has its own gravitational field, which exerts this attractive force on all objects.  I'm also told, at a basic GCSE (as they're calling them now) level of Physics, that on Earth the strength of the gravitational field is numerically equal to the acceleration of objects under its influence, and its value at the Earth's surface is expressed as the standard average of g = 32.2ft/s².  Which means that the velocity increase due to gravity, ignoring air resistance and suchlike, of an object falling freely near the Earth's surface is 32.2 ft/s (or if you're doing GCSE Physics and use metric, it's near-as-makes-no-difference 10m/s, but I've always been partial to a decimal point and imperial).

Therefore, this object will attain a velocity of 32.2 ft/s after one second, 64.4 ft/s after two seconds, and so forth, until the object hits the Earth.

Sound theory, no?  If they're teaching it to teenagers who are still required by law to attend school, then everyone should be completely up to scratch on the ol' gravitational pull of the Earth.

So, imagine my alarm when, whilst researching battlement improvement for the family seat, I saw headlines such as:  'Funeral for Spain balcony fall victim', 'Orphaned on their holiday: Riddle as mother of four boys falls from third floor flat, then father plunges from different hotel balcony days later', 'Father of six fighting for life in Tunisia after falling from second-floor hotel balcony needs £20,000 to get back to UK because he didn't have the right travel insurance', 'Sixth holiday Briton dies in balcony fall whilst on family holiday on Menorca' and 'Balcony fall in Balearic Islands claims life of another UK tourist'.  These are all from October alone.  You know, last month.  2012.  Long after the first studies of the Earth's gravitational pull were conducted.

I am, naturally, now worried about leaving Britain.  Clearly, abroad is no place to go if you're British and your hotel room has a balcony.  Apparently, you completely forget that you were ever subject to gravity in the first place.  As if one had taken one’s gravity vaccination instead of the diphtheria or cholera one.  I know gravity is a worldwide epidemic, but that's one step too hypochondriac for my liking.

Now, I'll admit, they're all tragic stories, not least for their tragic overuse of the word 'plummet', and Henry is a bit partial to ignoring gravity every once in a while as well.  However, Henry has gin for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with a side of gin.  He, quite understandably, just forgets that gravity is below the battlements and still goes off to admire the view a bit more closely, before realising the granite-work has run out.

I would be safe to assume that it is all jolly hockey-sticks whilst playing a particularly exciting game of Monopoly on one’s foreign balcony, ignoring one’s daily recommended units of alcohol (because it all sweats off quicker than one can drink it in this heat, and the evaporation rate out of the bottle is just ridiculous too – hardly touch a drop and the whole lot becomes a haze of red wine over the open bottle neck) and letting one’s children run riot down by the pool.  Next thing one knows, one is (as the papers put it) plunging and plummeting and needing better travel insurance and a new spine.  It simply goes with the territory of having a holiday abroad.

But, oh no!  As Henry so perfectly examples, this happens in BRITAIN too!

I'm reading headlines stating 'Man who plunged 100ft to his death from private members' balcony at Tate Modern was a bank manager' (London) and 'Mother-of-three, 26, plunges 12 storeys to her death moments after "going out for a cigarette"' (Coventry).

The main difference that I can see is that you 'plunge' in Britain and 'plummet' abroad.

You'll also notice that these are all fairly grown-up people, mostly over the age of 20 and with families.  Some were not even high on gin.

People are forgetting the basics of the universe and that makes me sad.

So, next time you're on a balcony, whether it's in Britain or in a foreign county (but mainly the Spanish islands), please think back to that dusty old school room, with your teacher's mortarboard falling off his head, your knuckles being rapped with the chalkboard duster for not paying attention, and try to remember what he told you about gravity. 

Because gravity has clearly not forgotten you.