Tenderiser Mercies

Juicing has come to Airnefitchie.  The Other One bought a juicer and set it up on the kitchen table, with the power cord blocking off the gangway between the fridge and the Aga.  Her way of telling us to stop eating food, one supposes.

Nonetheless, we have rather come to like it.  What with everything and anything that grows in Scotland being in season, our vegetable garden has been flourishing.  We've tried juicing everything from apples (pretty standard really) to beetroot (which is actually rather nice) to carrots (surprisingly sweet).

Although we did run out of glasses.

Eventually, however, we became rather annoyed with all the tutting and scowls that would emanate from The Other One if we then had a bacon roll for breakfast.  I'm all for making your own juices –  anything to spice up the home-made gin – but that does not mean I will live on only juice for weeks on end, even if you do bulk it up with ground 'chia' 'seeds' and a handful of porridge oats.

Therefore, Alasdeir and I had a rare bonding moment when we decided to invent a juice for Patches and Fang.  This would serve a double purpose: not only putting The Other One off using the blasted juicer (which is ridiculously difficult to clean), but ensuring that the floor-level constituency did not feel left out of the lunacy.

Could you deny this face?

Of course, trying to juice meat and leftover bones from the roast leaves you with pink goo, much like the stuff from which they make burgers at your local fast food restaurant, and a pitifully broken juicer with shards of bone stuck in the gubbins.  We decided instead to make a smoothie for our beloved companion animals.

Here's the recipe:

Ingredients

Marrow from one juicy leftover leg bone from roast Sunday lamb (keep the bone to one side).

If your husband hasn't gnawed all the bones and licked all the dishes clean, any leftovers of the lamb itself should also be added.

Leftover lamb gravy (homemade, preferably, but granules will do in a pinch).

6 tablespoons of plain, brown rice (cooked).

Method

Put all wet ingredients into a smoothie maker/juicer/food processor and whizz up to a paste; or, arm your son with a rubber mallet and subject it to his tender mercies.  Add more gravy, if needed, to achieve a ‘smoothie’ consistency.

To Serve

Pour into individual dog bowls and garnish with the leg bone cut in half.

Watch the light brighten in your dogs' eyes when dinner is served, but ignore the puppy-dog expressions when they want some more.  You get enough of that from your husband as it is.

No good looking at me like that.  I don't even know what 'haz cheezburger' means.